The Day I Confused the Appraiser for an Awkward Blind Date

So...
the cleaning happened.
It was painful, and every bit as awful as I expected it to be.
But all was ready for the almighty appraiser man this morning.

Almost ready.
Appraiser man came early (which is where the whole confusion started to set in , because I hadn't swiffered the stairs -again- of black dog hair which reproduces during the night.) Dog hair on stairs is not a value booster and does nothing for the whole instrinsic flow I was hoping for.

Appraiser man asks me if we had alot of traffic when our house was on the market a year ago. I had forgotten that he would obviously see this fact in the records and could very well ask about it. Well, we had alot of cleaning to do while it was on the market, and that felt like traffic to me, so I answered "Oh yes, we had ALOT of traffic. Of course, no offers..." This is when I realized my fatal error. I should have answered that we had little traffic, which in truth we did, because that would make it seem as if too few people saw it to appreciate what a great deal it was at 5% over purchase price.

Feeling awkward, as I did on blind dates in my single years, I asked a question.

"Do you like your job"

Appraiser man does indeed like his job.

Appraiser man asks what upgrades we've made to the house since we moved in.
I point out the beautiful arched doorways and niches that I'm not sure he has had the opportunity to fully appreciate.
(they came with the house.)

I notice at this point that appraiser man is wearing his socks. Before I can shut my mouth, I tell him he can put his shoes back on as there is "dog hair everywhere." Open mouth insert wide foot.

Do you see the value of my home slipping? I do.

The final nail in my appraiser man coffin came as he was preparing to leave.
"You have a very nice home" he said.
"I bet you say that to all the homeowners" was my blurted response.

I think that appraiser man enjoys his job a little less after his visit at my home.

And I'm glad I'm married. It's clear that I wasn't ever good at blind dates and the years haven't improved me!
although I did marry a blind date. another story for another day